Is the experience of coaching women different to coaching men? I posed this question at my coaching book club, which meets regularly for two hours of zesty discussion. We are all women.
The question sparked a lively exchange. Some of us had recently read Barsh and Cranston’s How Remarkable Women Lead. Some argued that the points made could equally apply to men.
I thought about the clients I have coached. Certainly men and women bring common issues to their sessions: self-esteem, presence, being grounded under stress, delegating, networking, managing upwards, etc.
So what have I noticed that is different?
Some women clients of mine want to get out of what is called the ‘velvet ghetto’, the ‘pink collar’ jobs for women in areas considered to be gendered: human resources, public relations and marketing. They want core business jobs that show their delivery on the bottom line. I have only had one male client trying to make this switch.
Recently, I attended a briefing in the financial services industry. The Manco was indeed a MAN-committee! Fourteen of the 15 members were men; the lone woman was the director of human resources.
But progress is being made. Career guidance at my convent school proposed social work and teaching prior to our becoming stay-at-home mothers.
Most of my women clients (with or without children) take on more household responsibility and struggle more with the work-life balance. In her keynote address at the launch of FORBES WOMAN AFRICA, Cheryl Carolus said: “Superman for women is a con job. Superman has a mother and never worries about matching socks both coming out of the washing machine, or what’s for dinner and whether there’s enough cat food.”
One of my black women clients sits on a board that has only two women members. One of her challenges was how to engage with the men during the breaks. She was angry: “The chairperson could only think of saying, ‘I like your shoes’. I realized that none of the men on the board have wives that work; they have ‘charity wives’. They can’t relate to us.”
I am not saying that all men are like this, and there certainly are ‘charity wives’ who are hard-working philanthropists. But our history of patriarchy leaves all of us, women and men, with a legacy that needs to be addressed alongside the legacy of race.
One black woman COO arrived at her new job. Her welcome from the CEO (a black man) included a description of how the previous incumbent (a woman) had failed. He had given her two days’ notice to prepare an important document for submission to the board. He had approved six weeks’ leave for her most senior direct report (a black man) at a critical time when compliance reporting was due. That same report had been on the shortlist for the COO position and was rumored to be the CEO’s preferred candidate. No wonder she felt that she was being set up to fail.
In her chapter, ‘Gender Issues in Business Coaching’ (Passmore, 2013), Sunny Stout-Rostron reviews Lerato Motsoaledi’s 2009 doctoral thesis, Executive Coaching in Diversity.
“Motsoaledi studied issues of male insubordination to female authority, finding that in several instances males refused to accept it, projecting in-adequacies on to women leaders and using aggression as a tool to dominate them. Although the women managers wielded power as individuals, they still had to deal with being a member of a subordinate group expected to comply with traditional patriarchal roles,” Stout-Rostron notes. Motsoaledi argues that being black as well as being a woman adds another layer of challenge that white women do not experience.
Research indicates that companies with more women in senior management have better results; others note that better, more forward-thinking firms hire more women.
In 1973, Samora Machel, the late president of Mozambique, said: “The emancipation of women is not an act of charity, or humanitarianism. The liberation of women is a fundamental necessity.”
Carolus, at the launch of this publication, noted, “Let us be there for our men folk – to help them on their way to the joys of freedom from sexism. For in the same manner that racism dehumanized black and white, sexism diminishes the potential of both men and women. Let us break the culture of silence we sometimes impose on ourselves.”
It is not easy. I have known of women executives who assert their authority so fiercely that when I have coached their male direct reports, loss of self-esteem is identified as an issue.
Moving forward requires commitment and compassion. I will share with you what has worked with my clients. Send me your experiences and concerns: helena.dolny@gmail.com

Should coaching be gendered?

Bigotry and prejudice rooted in sexism and Islamophobia were common subtexts in much of the reporting on the siege of Nairobi’s Westgate Mall in Kenya over the past few weeks. This was, of course, fueled by the alleged involvement of the so-called ‘White Widow’ in the brazen attack, which claimed several lives. Samantha Lewthwaite is a British national, who happens to be white and Muslim.
The reportage highlighted how women in general and Muslim women in particular are depicted when they are active in political causes, some of which are characterized by violence.
The fact that no conclusive evidence has been found to link Lewthwaite to the attack did not stop the media, especially the English tabloids, from framing women and Muslims in classic stereotypical terms. The Guardian’s Jamie Gilham explains:
“On Monday morning the front pages of the tabloids condemned ‘evil’ and ‘fanatical’ Samantha Lewthwaite, aka the White Widow, as the Nairobi ‘bloodbath mastermind’. The precise nature of the tragic events in Nairobi are still unfolding and, when the tabloids went to press on Sunday night, little was known about Lewthwaite’s alleged involvement in the Nairobi attack. A few days on, we still don’t know much, and the evidence against Lewthwaite is scant and contradictory. Nevertheless, the Muslim convert and widow of 7/7 attacker Germaine Lindsay has become the symbol of home-grown terrorism, a target of fear and loathing.”
Gilham goes on to say that for the tabloids, Lewthwaite’s transgressions are plentiful: she converted to Islam, took the veil and a Muslim name (Sherafiyah), married a black and notoriously radical convert, and is the mother of mixed-race children. And while it is not the first time a British citizen has converted to Islam, Lewthwaite’s case signified something else. It reveals that, by converting to Islam, women disturb conventions about ethnicity, gender and religion, Gilham argues.
Na’eem Jeenah, the director of the Afro-Middle East Centre in Johannesburg, South Africa, concurs.
“If this was an anarchist organization, for example, and the leader was a woman widow, then I think the treatment would have been different. But because it is a Muslim organization, there is already this kind of sense that women in Muslim organizations and Muslim societies don’t play prominent roles. So this (Lewthwaite’s alleged leadership of the group that staged the Westgate Mall attack) is already unusual, an oddity.”
Jeenah says her race is also a key issue; for some Britons, Lewthwaite’s actions mean she has crossed over to “the dark side”. “In the case of Samantha, there is an extra exoticization… From the Western media’s sense, this is a very strange phenomenon because she is a woman, but more so because she is white,” he argues.
Men’s political choices are hardly ever questioned. Conversely, women face all kinds of scrutiny when they become active in organizations, especially those with an Islamist bent, such as al-Shabaab. More so because the conventional view of Islam is that it relegates women to the margins, as if they have little or no agency.
Ironically, Lewthwaite’s alleged involvement as the possible mastermind of the Nairobi attack debunks the myth that Islam treats women as second-class citizens.
Throughout history, women have played a role in politics, even in the so-called Muslim world. In fact, very few countries that have had women heads of state are from the West. Margaret Thatcher of Britain, Germany’s Angela Merkel and Australia’s Julia Gillard are among the few who have reached the top of the political game. Compare that with developing countries such as Pakistan, Indonesia, Brazil, India, Malawi, Liberia and Chile – all of which have had women heads of state – two of whom are Muslim.
The fact that the developing world, which includes countries with massive Muslim populations, has had women ascend to the pinnacle of political power proves that conventional views of the role and position of women in these societies are far more complex and fluid than mainstream Western media portrays them.
In the West, Muslim women are cast as people who stay at home, are given household chores to do and are oppressed in their domestic confinement. When women operate outside of that mold, it messes with the stereotype that casts all lslamist groups as
inherently misogynist and anti-women. Jeenah says Lewthwaite’s alleged leadership of the group responsible for the carnage in Nairobi blows the Western media’s view of women in Islam out of the water.
“She is going further. Not only is she involved in politics, she is taking up arms, planning the attacks and leading the group. Her alleged role simply doesn’t square with the stereotypes – firstly of Muslims and secondly of Islamist organizations.”
History also questions the media-fed formula that women under Islam are subservient. From the fight for the liberation of Palestine to the anti-colonial war in Algeria and the struggle for equality in South Africa, women have played a role.
In fact, women have led some of the most audacious attacks against their enemies. The bitter war of independence in Algeria is one example. According to Danièle Djamila Amrane-Minne and Farida Abu-Haidar of the Muse Project, Algerian women had joined the struggle for independence from the get-go. Their research shows that there were 10,949 fighting women, representing 3.1% of all those taking part in active combat during the war of liberation. This percentage, which may seem negligible, is approximately the same as the percentage of European women who took part in World War II. Algerian women who joined the struggle were not merely sympathizers or militants on a short-term basis, but proper fighters and members of the National Liberation Army or the National Liberation Front Civil Organization.
The daring 1969 highjacking of a Boeing 707 by Palestinian Leila Khaled ensured a visual image of a woman as a courageous fighter for the Palestinian struggle for self-determination. Another example is Fatima Meer’s leading role in the fight against Apartheid in South Africa. These are merely some examples of how women in Muslim settings have broken the mold that portrays women as inferior or lacking in agency.
Granted, there are some Muslim states, such as Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, where women are actively prevented from living full lives. In the oil-rich desert state, Saudi women are not even allowed to drive. In Afghanistan, girls’ and women’s lives are threatened if they try to get an education. And while myths about the living conditions of all Muslim women is often false, they are fueled by the actions of states that claim to follow Islam when they oppress and sub- jugate women.
Jeenah concedes: “the thing about stereotypes is not that they are not true, but that they are not for most of the time”. Certain Muslim societies fuel stereotypes about the role of women in Islam – Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan are cases in point.
Jeenah also points out that the position of women in Iran is often misunderstood. He says even if they are compelled to wear a headscarf, Iranian women are much more assertive than women in the rest of the Muslim world, and even in much of the Western world.
“If you look at the Muslim world, the biggest Muslim community is in Indonesia, second-biggest is India, the third in Pakistan… If you look at the manner in which women play their roles in all of these bigger communities, and even in the Arab world, where the biggest Muslim community is Egypt, in the broader Middle East, Iran and Turkey, women play a much more assertive role.”
The irony of the media’s stereo-typing of women in general and Muslim women in particular, is that the very stories meant to reinforce the negative framing of women as disempowered, often debunk that narrative. In reality, Muslim women, as in the case of Samantha Lewthwaite, are anything but subservient.

Women in politics: myths debunked

The selection of Hage Geingob as a future presidential candidate, during the party congress, has been widely seen as the end of the 50 years of liberation politics, which former President Sam Nujoma had dominated. A sigh of relief by the local and international business community—who feared a Zimbabwean-like land nationalization program and a confiscatory tax regime, had either of his opponents won—was heard across Namibia.
While he still has to face national and presidential elections in two years’ time, Namibia’s single-party dominant system is such that only a major political catastrophe would prevent Geingob from replacing President Hifikepunye Pohamba in 2015.
Geingob was Namibia’s prime minister since independence, in 1990, until suddenly being dismissed by Samuel Nujoma in 2002. He was banished to the political wilderness for five years before being re-appointed as prime minister by Pohamba in a transitional Cabinet that is notable for its promotion of technocrats.
Government insiders said that Geingob’s surprisingly easy victory over the more trenchant elements of the party, that has ruled Namibia since independence, would now see the country adopt a more developmental economy model. This is opposed to its current ‘mixed economy’ approach, whose success, to a large extent, would depend on oil and gas being discovered off the Namibian Atlantic coastline.
Geingob’s approach was not at variance with the ruling party’s official policies, his stress on an energy-based economy, which is needed to bring development to rural areas and address massive unemployment of more than 53%, was one that would see the state take on a more assertive role in developing the economy, according to analysts.
While the details still are not clear, chances are that Namibia under Geingob will adopt a policy of national champions as espoused by the Asian Tigers. This will boost local manufacturing and the development of so-called ‘energy corridors’ linking Namibia to its land-bound neighbors such as Botswana, Zambia and those further afield such as the Democratic Republic of the Congo, amongst others.
“The Namibian government under Geingob is increasingly likely to look towards the other BRICS (Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa) countries for development partners because of the ongoing crises in the Euro and Dollar areas,” says Professor Andre du Pisani, head of the University of Namibia’s Economics department and a high-level government advisor.
The stress, he said, would be more on pragmatic politics and economic cooperation, rather than the ideological stance that has characterized much of SWAPO’s 50-year-long history as battler of imperial colonialists.
As a stable democracy blessed with good, if not super-abundant, resources supported by a strong mining industry; a world-class fisheries sector and good tourism potential—Namibia has never quite met high expectations because of a lingering ideological rift between moderates and hard-line nationalists that often saw executive decisions getting bogged down in turf battles.
Geingob has made much of the fact that while the country, and its ruling party, has adopted progressive policies over the past 22 years, where it most often failed was in implementing those policies. His political victory as a moderate has raised hopes that the economy would now get out of the blocks and overcome its political inertia.
And signs are that this time, this could actually happen. In what amounted to the biggest surprise over the outcome of the party’s congress, incumbent President Pohamba announced a sudden major Cabinet reshuffle two days later that firmly sidelined the hard-line factions without totally alienating them by re-assigning half of the 24 ministerial positions in a careful political balancing act.
Former regional government and housing minister Jerry Ekandjo, who is Geingob’s strongest opponent and a noted party hardliner and Nujoma loyalists, who backed by the party’s youth league had waged an increasingly nasty campaign for the presidential nomination, were re-assigned to the ministry of youth and sports instead.
Former justice minister and party secretary-general, Pendukeni Iivula-Ithana, who had hopes of becoming Namibia’s first female president, was thrown a political lifeline by being handed the politically powerful home affairs portfolio. This after she switched her support to Geingob during the congress, rather than supporting Ekandjo, whose political views she echoes.
And to keep everything in the family, Utoni Nujoma, who first backed Iivula-Ithana but then switched back to Ekandjo, was handed the justice portfolio.
He was replaced by technocrat Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah as foreign affairs minister.
Pohamba, who had taken over from Nujoma as his preferred candidate in 2004, has always labored under the perception that he was a mere figurehead doing Nujoma’s bidding; this amounted to his greatest political moment in the 50 years he has lived in Nujoma’s shadow: “Going out with a bang,” as he had put it to a political confidante.
His open backing of Geingob, which upset the other two candidates no end, has effectively allowed him to bestow his own legacy upon the party by helping to elect the first non-Oshiwambo person to the country’s most powerful office and so bring to an end to Nujoma’s domination of a party he helped found in 1960.
Geingob’s victory also saw moderates make a clean sweep of all the top offices in the party hierarchy; putting paid to a mooted plan to have the hard-line Ekandjo take over the presidency for one term in order to prepare the way for Nujoma’s son, Utoni, to have a clean run at the presidency in 2019.
In his closing speech to the congress, Pohamba, with uncharacteristic frankness, referred to a “watershed” moment in the party’s history. Although he did not say so, the message was clear after Nujoma had called for a female presidential candidate, allegedly to split the pro-Geingob vote and hand victory to Ekandjo, only to see Iivula-Ithana humiliated with a mere 10% of the vote as delegates deserted her in favor of Geingob.
All agree that the rising resource nationalism as espoused by the hard-line factions in the party had now been taken off the table, although questions remained how an even-handed Geingob would be in framing policies as future president, says Graham Hopwood, director of the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR), a local think-tank.
“The question hanging over the Geingob candidacy is whether he will be able to distance himself from the interests of big business when making executive decisions and crafting policy,” Hopwood noted.
On the one hand, Geingob fought off Walmart’s proposed entry into the local market as not being in the interest of Namibia, but then also granted special tax status to French nuclear company Areva, a benefit that other uranium miners did not have, according to Hopwood.
This latter aspect is perhaps the most troubling aspect in an otherwise newly optimistic landscape: Geingob has admitted to receiving a $300,000 consultancy fee from Areva, albeit while still just a party backbencher in 2007.
But at least one can now expect that any future political debate over Namibia’s future would be centered on issues, rather than personalities, and that in itself amounted to major political progress, all agreed.

Tag: Liberation

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Should coaching be gendered?

Women in politics: myths debunked

The Tide Turns